Christians are the largest religious group in the US. There are numerous sects, all of which have slightly different beliefs and traditions. If you want to get involved with Christian dating, it is important to understand the basics of their beliefs.
Having this information ensures that you are respecting their faith while taking the time to get to know someone new. Their faith is one of the most important parts of their lives, so if you know something about it, this makes it easier to ensure that you do not offend them. It also makes sure that Christian dating is something you will enjoy.
Dating a Christian
If you are ready to start dating a Christian, knowing a little more about their faith can help you to navigate Christian dating. It will also give you some perspective into why they believe what they do.
Christianity is Often Individual
You could meet five Christian people and all of them are different. It is important to not put all Christians into the same box. Some of them will be very conservative while others will believe in God but not put emphasis on the church or praying regularly. There are also a lot of Christians who are liberal.
One of the first things you need to do with Christian dating is to focus on the individual. Do not be afraid to ask them about their beliefs so that you can understand them.
Consider the sect that they belong to and the basics of this group. This will give you some insight into their beliefs and why they believe them. You do not need to read their holy book but looking up the basic tenets of their belief system will be helpful.
Do Not Be Afraid to Ask Questions
As you are getting to know someone, ask questions about them and their faith. Talk to them about why they chose to follow the Christian faith. This information can provide some valuable information about their character and what they want to get out of life.
It is important to keep this conversation respectful. For example, never mock someone about their faith. However, genuine questions and wanting to learn more about them is always a good thing. This could essentially give you a leg up in the world of Christian dating.
When you are asking questions to learn about their faith, expect to get the same questions back. Be honest about your beliefs. Since religion can be such a big part of someone’s life, if there is any dishonesty about this, it could result in condemning any sort of connection that the two of you have made.
Read up on their specific set of beliefs. Jot down some questions you have and use these to start learning more about their beliefs. When it comes to Christian dating, it will be appreciated that you are taking the time to explore their faith.
You Do Not Need to Be a Christian
When it comes to Christian dating, it is a common misconception that someone must also be a Christian. Now, there are some very devout people who want to date within their faith, and this is understandable. However, many Christians are more interested in the person than their faith.
If you are not a Christian, it is important to be upfront about this. You do not want to develop a relationship with someone and then spring this on them later. It could result in issues in your relationship.
If you are on a Christian dating website, be open about your faith, or lack of faith. Explain why you are interested in Christian dating if you are not a Christian. This will clear up any misconceptions about your motives so that your matches know exactly where you are coming from.
You should also be prepared for questions. When you get involved with Christian dating when you are not a Christian, it is natural for people to have some concerns or questions about why. Make sure that you know exactly why you prefer Christian dating so that you can answer honestly.
Learn More About Christianity
Before you even start Christian dating, you should take the time to learn more about this religion. This will help to guide you regarding the types of Christians you might be interested in dating. For example, you may find yourself drawn to Baptists more than Pentecostals.
Learning more will also help you to decide if Christian dating is in your best interest. You want to ensure that your beliefs and your potential partner’s beliefs will not constantly be at odds with each other. Essentially, having some knowledge about Christianity will let you prevent problems before they have a chance to occur.
Understand the Depth of Their Faith
Some Christians follow their beliefs more devoutly than others. Before you engage in Christian dating, you need to consider this fact. For example, some Christians will not engage in sex before marriage and they will not live with their partner before marriage.
If these two issues are deal breakers for you, you should make this clear so that you are matching up with Christians who on the more liberal end of the spectrum. This clarification will help to prevent issues early in your relationship.
Dating as a Christian
When you have strong beliefs, it is ideal that you meet people who share them. The Christian dating information in this section will focus on Christians who are wading into the dating pool.
Determine Your Goals
Christian dating often has the ultimate goal of finding a person to marry. However, all Christians have their own goals and preferences. It is okay to just date to meet new people. Not everyone you meet will be marriage material.
Before you get started, define your goals for Christian dating. If you have a pastor or a minister, you can consult with them if you are unsure about what you want out of dating. They can provide you with some guidance about your faith and your personal preferences.
It is important to remember that it is okay to go after what you want in a relationship. Do not allow any person to pressure you into seeking marriage if this is not something that you are ready for. If you engage in Christian dating online, make it known in your profile what you are looking for.
You can go into Christian dating casually. From here, if you meet someone that you have a lot of chemistry with, you can always change your mind and consider pursuing marriage with the person. Going into this with an open mind can make the experience more enjoyable.
Are You Willing to Date Outside of Your Faith?
When it comes to Christian dating, one of the biggest things that you need to determine is if you are willing to look outside of your faith for a partner. If you are very devout, it is probably best to date people who share your beliefs. However, if your Christianity is more liberal or relaxed, you might consider casting a wider net.
If you are okay with dating people of different faiths, be clear about this from the beginning. It will ensure that your matches are diverse. You can also consider signing up for general dating websites in addition to Christian ones.
If there are certain faiths that you do not want to date, be clear about this. It is not rude to rule out certain belief systems that do not mesh with yours. Doing this will save you and potential matches of those faiths a lot of time.
If you are okay with dating multiple faiths, talk about this. You should also make it clear what your beliefs are so that there are no surprises once you start talking to potential matches. This is also the time to list anything that may be a deal-breaker for you.
Respect is Paramount
One of the foundations of Christian dating is mutual respect. You and your partner should talk about what you are comfortable with before you start to get serious. This will help to prevent any issues or one partner feeling pressured as you move forward.
For example, if you are okay with sex before marriage, you should make this clear from the beginning so that your potential partners are aware of this. Intimacy is often a big topic when it comes to Christian dating, so you should get this information out in the open as soon as possible.
Go Slowly
There is no reason to rush a relationship. In fact, rushing could cause problems down the road because it makes it harder to get to know a person. Instead, take your time with getting to know each other. You do not have to see each other to speak every day to determine if there is chemistry between the two of you.
It is important that you only go as fast as you are comfortable with it. Never go faster just because your partner is more comfortable with speed. Remember that mutual respect is important, and part of respect is acknowledging how quickly each partner is willing to progress the relationship.
Do Not Be Afraid to End a Relationship
When it comes to Christian dating, the whole “never get a divorce” mantra is a common theme. This is because some sects oppose separating from your partner. However, this is becoming less common in modern times.
What is most important is that you are happy. If a relationship is not working out, it is best to just cut ties so that both of you can find partners that you have more chemistry with. Staying in a failing relationship will not help any of you.
Be Reasonable with Your Expectations
Before you start with Christian dating, consider your expectations. Remember that no partner is ever going to be perfect or someone that checks all of your boxes. Think about the preferences that are most important to you and start evaluating your matches using this criterion.
You should consider the parts of your faith that you are not willing to budge on. For example, if you absolutely want someone who is within the same Christian sect, you need to be clear about this from the beginning. It will narrow down your matches to those that best meet what you are looking for.
You should also consider the factors that are not associated with your religion. Remember that your faith is not going to be the only factor when it comes to Christian dating. There are physical and personality traits that you need to also consider.
For example, if you are college-educated, you may prefer a partner who also has a college education. If children are something that you want in the future, you want to find a partner who also wants to have kids at some point.
Common Principles of Dating for Christians
There are principles that most Christians follow when it comes to dating. It is important to note that you do not need to follow these exactly. You can interpret them in your own way so that they work with your lifestyle and level of faith.
These principles include:
- You do not have to constantly be looking for the one. It is okay to spend time with different people to determine who you have chemistry with.
- While marriage should be a goal, it does not have to be your only goal with dating.
- Ideally, you should focus on dating people with similar beliefs, or at least those who respect your beliefs.
- Do not compromise when it comes to your values.
- Try to avoid dating more than one person at the same time. This can make it more difficult to get to know each person.
- Do not be shy about getting opinions from friends and family members that you trust regarding your dating habits and the partners that you are choosing.
- Try to maintain a pure mind and let love guide you more than lust.
- Do not use dating as a way to find joy. God should be your joy.
Common Christian Dating Myths
Before you start with Christian dating, busting some of the myths can help you to better navigate everything. The following are myths that you should stop believing now to make finding a partner easier:
- God has chosen one person for you and you will be guided to that person by God, so there is no reason to date multiple people looking for your soulmate
- The guidelines for dating are clearly outlined in the Bible and you must follow these exactly in order to date according to the Christian faith
- The second you meet your soulmate, God will do something that will make it clear that this is the person that you are supposed to marry
- Before you can date someone, you must befriend them first or else you are violating a religious guideline
- You must avoid being open about sex and intimacy until the two of you are married
These are all myths that were once common in the Christian faith. Nowadays, people in various religious sects are far more open. This means that you can disregard these and date in a way that makes the most sense to you and what you are looking for in your romantic life.
How to Find Christians to Date
To start Christian dating, you have to first find people of this faith to date. One of the best options is to explore Christian dating sites. There are numerous options to choose from, giving you a lot of diversity. Some of the websites may focus on Christians in general while others are focused on specific sects, such as Baptists or Lutherans.
As you look at the websites, make note of the types of Christians that you want to meet. For example, if you are a very conservative Christian, you likely want to meet others who are very firm in their beliefs. However, if you are more relaxed in your faith, you probably want to find other relaxed Christians.
The safety and privacy of the websites that you sign up with are imperative. Make sure that the website encrypts your information and allows you to decide how much private information you will display. This gives you peace of mind because you will not have to divulge anything that you are not comfortable with.
Make sure that you are fully honest about your beliefs on your profile so that you can meet like-minded Christians. For example, some are more liberal than others. If you tend to be a liberal Christian, you want to make this clear so that you are attracting those that share similar beliefs.
Consider speed dating websites for Christians. If you are short on time, this type of Christian dating can help you to meet multiple people in an hour or so. This is a fast way to get several potential matches that you can talk to further to determine if there is any chemistry between the two of you.
